And mom, going to three temples in a week sounds incredible down here at the bottom of the earth! It would be nice if I could just go to one!
Here's what happened this week... Now I've got to think haha! When you do the same thing for so much time, it all kind of blends together. Yesterday was a holiday, so all the internet places were closed - thus the email on Tuesday. We had some more days with the Calafate elders because we had zone conf. Zone Conf was dope because I'm in a legit zone now, and not the mess that was Rio Grande. I'M IN THE BAUTIZONA Y'ALL! (I'm pretty sure that means the highest baptizing zone...) Somos los capos. (We're the bosses.) It was great, at Zone Conference they gave each of the 24 elders and sisters a distinct attribute that they represent in our zone. I was our obedience! LET'S GOOOOO!
Anyways, that was good, but there was a part of the week that just sucked. I don't know what happened, but my animo (spirit) got sooooo low. Like you all know, hasta ahora (up to now), my mission has been a straight grind in the comp department. My areas have also been two of the areas that are known for being hard. Anyway, I can't remember which day it was, but one of the days this week, I just cracked. All the citas (appointments) fell, even though we had like 5, and I needed some support, but my current comp isn't too great with that. I had been praying all transfer long (for the last 4 weeks), and the answers just weren't coming. It got to the point where I prayed, and I asked God if he existed, and if he was listening. And I didn't feel a dang thing. Not even a spark. I felt so completely alone, and I decided to call up President. I felt bad to bother him, but I was breaking down spiritually. He gave me some consejos (advice) that helped me a bit, and then I essentially had to tough it out.
I really don't know why Heavenly Father is testing me like this, especially when it comes to my prayers. My whole life, and especially here in the mission, I have never been one to receive clear answers to my prayers, if I receive anything. I won't lie, my testimony is struggling. But I do know one thing, and that's what I'm falling back on: that God exists. I don't know why he doesn't want to talk to me, especially because I'm dedicating my life to him right now, but his purposes are wiser than mine. I've never struggled spiritually this much in my life, but it's a bit of a comfort to see that even in the fieriest trials, I'm still holdin' true. I was baptized, and that means something to me. I was endowed in the temple, and that has to mean something. This God I worship does exist, and he has a plan, so for now, it's time to buckle down, hold tight, and weather the storm. I feel like the marinero in "Brillan Rayos de Clemencia" (Brightly Beams the Father's Mercy) right now. Please keep me in your prayers, WE GONNA MAKE IT!
As for matters of how the work went, Orlando has gone silent again (pucha (shoot)) but we're not giving up. We did find a dope family though, but if I put them in the email, they'll disappear fo sho, so were gonna wait it out a bit.
FAMILY: I love you guys! Thank you sooooo much for todo! Stay strong in the gospel, and pray for me!
LOVE YOU MOM!
- Elder Atlas, because this guy feels like he's got the weight of the world on his shoulders right now
Me with Boba Fett
Me with PROTEIN HASHTAG GAINSSSS
Me with a kiosco (shop) that has a dope name (:
Bowl hopes are slowly returning... slowly... ;) LET'S GO COUGARS! I hope you know that I was bored one of the days this week while we were walking, so I just starting singing the BYU fight song. Just lettin' y'all know that if there's blue down here at the bottom of the world, there's a Cougar rising in it!
Trump is an idiot. Donald Kishkumen Trump lol! And as far as Eduardo's parents, sometimes I feel sad to be an American.
Anyways, now that we've passed those two ugly moments, en serio Dad, thanks for your fast. If you read the big email, you'll see that I'm struggling right now. It's gotten to the point where now, I'm reading the Book of Mormon (in Spanish of course) to know if it's true. I thought I had a testimony before, but I really don't know anything anymore, except that God exists, he's got a son named Jesus Christ, and for some reason I have a black plastic thing with his name on it on my chest. It's bad. But don't worry too much. If I've learned anything from the mish thus far, it's how to solve my own problems. It was cool, because I was walking one day, and I starting doubting if God even existed. It's hard for me to see or feel the answers to prayers, and I started to doubt, and I just kept doubting for hours. Then, in an instant, I was like "No. Satan, you can attack me from all sides, tear down my faith, but there is one thing that you will not touch, and that's my belief in God. I may not see proof of his existence, I may not even feel like he exists, but even when my mind tells me that he's not there I CHOOSE TO BELIEVE! I choose it, and that's final" I think it was a defining moment, and something that I can base my new testimony on. I really do feel the strength of your fast, especially because later in that same day, we encountered a family that seems way prepared. When we shared the first vision, the mother started to cry. She is a less active member who hadn't heard the story of Jose Smith for 14+ years, and at the end of the lesson, her two sons of age and her marido (husband) all accepted fechas (baptismal dates). I was like, holy crap, maybe the promises in my patriarchal blessing are gonna actually start happening now. So fingers crossed. All in all, son is struggling, but alive, and although the faith has burned down to the coals, I'm starting to get the kindling back on there, and we'll get a bonfire started here pretty soon.
Dad, I LOVE YOU! And admire you. Go BYU! - Elder Son
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